What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
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