You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
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He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
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First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
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