why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
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Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
Today's forecast: 90% chance of bad decisions, good stories, solid new dick and artichoke pizza
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
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