Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
Randomize