how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
i would one night stand the shit outta him
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
Sorry dude, one minute I was flirting with a bachelorette party from Dallas and the next I’m being tied to the bed by the bride
Trying to wrangle us an invite to the wedding
Randomize