By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
Randomize