Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
i will never coherently bang her
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
Apparently 'check out this motherfucker' is not an appropriate greeting to use in the vicinity of sitting united states senators. Who knew
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
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