I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
he shaved USA in his pubs
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
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i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
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i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
Pretty sure the cop told you that you were the first person he pulled over for being drunk on a tractor. So there's that.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
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