Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
i always forget guys have bellybuttons
There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
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