try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
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