the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
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