Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
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