your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
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