I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
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