A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
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My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
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Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
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