Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
MASS TEXT: Next weekend I will be in town for St. Patty's day. There will be a bonfire and liqour olympics. We will have booze but in order to participate it is byob. Upon arrival everyone will be asked to sign a waiver. I am not responsible for liver failure, death, loss of clothing or memory, bites, scratches, hickies, pregnancies, or any other for of injury you may obtain while participating. There will be ridiculous amounts of green glitter, be prepared to puke it up. ALSO WEAR SOMETHING GREEN OR YOU WILL BE PENALIZED!! AUTOMATIC 5 SHOTS. HAPPY GAMING!!!
Randomize