He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
the guy at the pet shop just had an eye seizure while looking at my chest
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All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
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Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
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