wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
Lost my anal v card with Peter Thiel's RNC speech on in the background. Unbelievably appropriate
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
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