walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
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