i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
the texts you sent will act as the rosetta stone for all drunk people
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
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