that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
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