Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
I woke up hungover and reached for a glass of water only to realize too late that it was vodka sprite with my splooge in it.
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll pick you up. Avoid slightly awkward no-we're-not-dating-but-I'm-still-screwing-your-son-after-2-years parental run-ins.
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
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