She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
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She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
After 3 dates I think I'm failing at painting the "sweet guy with a future" picture and more painting the "this is the guy to call when you've run out of options and want to get fucked in half drunk to forget about it" picture.
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
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My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
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