I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
God, you're like boner-b-gone
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
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