He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
My vagina is officially offended.
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
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