How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I distinctly remember calling the anesthesiologist a "sneaky little bastard" directly to his face
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Using mass transit when I'm hungover makes me feel like I missed my calling as a serial killer
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
Randomize