I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
Randomize