I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
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In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
as i was trying not to drunkingly fall off her toliet, i noticed her socks laying there. i quickly grabbed them, ran upstairs, and excitingly asked her if she had gotten them at sams club. she replied with, "...those are your socks."
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
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