He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
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Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
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