so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
Randomize