I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
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