Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
I told the cop it was my birthday and he said "happy fuckin birthday", handcuffed me and threw me in the back of the cop car.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
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