I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
Just accidentally pinched my dick between two 50 pound dumbbells while doing shoulder shrugs. God hates me.
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
i now understand why vodka
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
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