Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
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I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
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