I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
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