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But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
I need a sticker that says "It's no use hitting on me - I'm the plus one" Seriously, how do they think I got in in the 1st place?
false alarm. still invincible.
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
Randomize
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