Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
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