My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
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Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
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