Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I swear to god there was like a 2-second timespan in which he went from laughing to coughing, hiccuping, and subsequently projectile vomiting into the grass. There is literally a line in the grass, about 2 yards long, of his puke. It was more impressive than disgusting to be honest. And then he just shrugged and said "I have no idea where that came from."
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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