My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
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