just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
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thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
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