ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
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