Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
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Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
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You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
where are my pants?
in the oven.
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