She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
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I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
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My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
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