Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
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