Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize