Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
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