she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
im holly from the hills drunk
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
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