I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
my liver is dry heaving
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
Randomize