watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
Can I sleep on your couch? My wife just found my eHarmony account.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
things i am: 1) still drunk 2) still wearing my leopard onesie 3) still gonna make my 9am lecture despite the odds CAN I GET A HIGH FIVE
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
Randomize